I’ve been married to John for more than a decade. It goes without mention that I love him unconditionally. But when I met Adam, I couldn’t stop myself. It was like a magnetic pull that got me closer to him. So, despite having a happy married life and two wonderful kids, I decided to give in.
Don’t get me wrong. I did not want a dramatic interlude in my marriage. I wasn’t willing to disrupt my familial peace at any cost. But I also wanted the thrill of a forbidden romance. I want to be comfortably married with the love of my life and continue my thrilling affair. I am not reckless. I don’t want the world to know. And that is why I plan every step and ensure all my details are covered.
My husband is unsuspecting, my friends and cousins have no clue, and I always manage to hide every evidence that might result in a tumbling fall.
I didn’t start my affair with Adam because John lacked something. John is a great dad, and to top it off he is smart, funny, and fit. Both of us did our bit for keeping things warm. But everything doesn’t go by plan. At times, you end up getting bogged down by your daily lives, so much so, that you lose the appetite for trying something new. But John doesn’t suspect me. As partners we are great. As a family, we are even better. We keep ourselves engaged in hobbies and I also keep a diary to make sure things are in order.
But here’s the catch: I write nothing about Adam in the diary. It works the same way for everything else. I don’t send him corny texts (and in case I do, I delete them immediately), I do not send any emails outside work (yes, we work together), and I don’t post him cheesy, romantic gifts either. I’m past that age. Adam was initially friends with John. They met at my younger one’s school event. Eventually, after a couple of job switches, I found myself in his office working right next to him. I didn’t know how things happened, but they did.
Adam is entirely different from John. He is dreamy, attractive, and (almost always) bubbling with excitement. I was attracted to him but wasn’t willing to admit it to myself. Eventually, I did.
Our paths crossed at a party. He was there with his wife Eline, and I was with John. Before John and Eline, we seemed absolutely normal. But after three drinks, we met alone, and things took an unexpected turn.
A few days later, he sent a filthy text at night. John stumbled upon that text and teased him saying he mistakenly sent it to me instead of sending it to Eline. He agreed. When we met two months later, I was furious. I told him that I was ready to start affair dating, but not at the cost of my marriage. And so he agreed.
We didn’t exchange texts. If we did, we’d do it at our sweet spot’, when we had full control of our phones. We deleted our texts and also communicate via call as needed. Here too, we made it a point to delete our call history.
When we took a weeklong vacation, we didn’t book our tickets online. Instead, we got cash and booked it over the counter. While this wasn’t simple, it didn’t leave any evidence. We did the same with hotels. We never booked online. In case we did, we used an alternate email address that nobody knew. I never preserved hotel or restaurant bills and always called my husband during the love-trips.
Interestingly, I witnessed a major change in my married life. I started cherishing John and his presence. I didn’t take him for granted anymore, and I started enjoying sex with him all over again.
Don’t get me wrong. I still harbor sentiments for Adam. But that is an entirely different sentiment from what I hold for John. I love both the men and I want them both in my life.
Fidelity is just a premise and it has been explored since time immemorial. Humans aren’t monogamous. It takes plenty of courage to own up to yourself, but be brave, and answer a question: “if you’re missing the thrill in your married life, what’s stopping you from doing what I’m doing?”
